Monday's Make-up Muse - Tori Amos

From the To Venus and Back sleeve - toriamos.com

Tori Amos has to be one of the biggest female influences on my life in terms of her music and the way she looks. I can still remember hearing To Venus and Back in my friends kitchen, buying it the next day and looking at the sleeve and thinking she just looked so amazing - it was the first time I tried to do my make-up to look like someone else rather than just messing about on how I wanted my face to look.

Since there I've seen her play live as often as possible and even though sometimes she wears something I wouldn't personally choose she has a fantastic and unique sense of style that I love. Though not known for her make-up particularly, she often looks pretty fresh-faced and it's much more her fashion that is dramatic, it's the look she had in the late '90s when that album came out that I loved (dark red hair, red lip, grungy black liner) and I can still see in my everyday make-up. So, as this is my blog and she's my make-up muse, that's the look I'm going to aim for in my recommendations below which are going to be pretty basic because it's pretty hard to see what she's actually wearing due to the purple tinge on all the pictures. I've looked at a lot of her live recordings from the time and thing I can safely say there was quite a lot of taupe going on... it's the '90s after all.

from galleryhip.com

Eye Shadows - the whole Tori late '90s eye look is a bit grungy - insert heart eyed emoji - satiny, smudgy, almost glossy. A light goldeny base like Make Up For Ever's Aqua Cream in 13 (Fuschia Pink apparently but mine is very pale) with a shimmery taupe over the top - my absolute favourite is Satin Taupe eye shadow by MAC.

Eye Liner - defined and smudgy. If you want ultimate definition then a liquid liner close to the lash line - Make Up For Ever's Ink Liner is my choice. Smoulder eye kohl by MAC smudged over the top with a little bit of black shadow on a Laura Mercier Smokey Liner Brush.

Skin - luminous and, in the album photos, contoured. If I want to have really dewy skin then I use Pixi Flawless Beauty Primer and Dior Star Fluid foundation if you want to skip the primer then NARS Sheer Glow. For the contour the ideal is Soleil Tan de Chanel but if you want something more high street priced then I've been really impressed by the NYX contour stick which is going to be available soon. You want to use creams here to keep the finish as luminous as possible. If you have the  House of Glam Dolls Glam Base Wheel that would be great here too - and a better option for darker skin tones.

Lips - often either red or a sort of brown. Usually glossy. To go ultimate '90s then we'll have to go with brown... well, browny nude and this will depend on your skin tone. I like NYX glosses (Tiramisu or Creme Brulee look good choices for this) , Charlotte Tilbury and MAC lipstick and lip liners.

Q Cover 1998

To Venus and Back cover - from toriamos.com

Monday's Make-up Muse - Pink

Still from the 'True Love' video

As with Gwen Stefani, Pink's make-up I have loved since she first appeared on my radar in 2000. She has one of those faces that takes make-up well and a smokey eye looks fantastic on her. Her make-up style is similar to mine - more dramatic eyes with a nude lip so she's one person who a lot of the time I'll see her make-up for something and try and recreate it on myself. If you are on Instagram then follow Kathy Jeung (@kathyjeung) who often does Pink's make-up - her work is beautiful.

Whether she is wearing a smudgy, grungy liner with a slight smoke at the outer corner or being completely out there and creative as in the video for 'Try', Pink is not afraid to try out new things with make-up and can carry anything off - partly down to having awesome hair. It's really hard to find good make-up photos of her because quite often it's too far away (red carpet pics are often useless for seeing actual make-up) or she's pulling a face. The best place to see her make-up in action is in her videos which I suggest you go and do and get inspired.

Pink Make-up Must Haves

Eyes - always cat shaped and usually smoked at the edges. For high street then the Sleek Make-up I-Divine Palette in Storm is good though you may need to use a primer underneath I really like Nudestix Magnetic Eye Pencil in Angel with Liz Earle Signature Eye Colour in Bronze. I particularly like it lighter on the inner corners with bronzes and golds on the outer edge. My liner of choice at the moment is the Make Up For Ever Ink Liner or Inglot Gel Liner in 77. If you'd rather use a pencil then Smoulder from MAC is always a winner. For the mascara you will want something as black as possible Bobbi Brown's Smokey Eye Mascara would be great here or Benefit's Roller Lash.

Skin - Dewy and sculpted with minimal blush. MAC Face and Body would be a great foundation to go for or Dior Star Fluid and my favourite cream for sculpting is Chanel Soleil Tan de Chanel or the House of Glam Dolls Glam Base Wheel. For concealer I really like Collection Lasting Perfection and Sleek Make-up Luminous Powder is good for keeping a bit of glow.

Lips - Usually nude though occasionally red. Charlotte Tilbury Lip Cheat in Pillow Talk or Pink Venus or MAC Lip Pencil in Whirl for the nudes and Charlotte Tilbury Lip Cheat in Crazy in Love is my go-to favourite for red tones. For nude lipsticks, well it's very personal, I like Chanel Rouge Coco in Teheran and Charlotte Tilbury K.I.S.S.I.N.G Lipstick in Bitch Perfect.

Monday's Make-up Muse - Jane Russell

from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

God I love Jane Russell. Everything about her. I'm even willing to overlook some of her beliefs that I don't necessarily agree with (she was a pro-life born-again Christian) because in a way they kind of emphasise her awesomeness. A great actress who spent her career living in the shadow of her more famous assets she was always the right side of tasteful and classy whilst having enough nous and sass to do what she needed to do to forge a successful career in the 1950s. The best example of this is the secret binning of the famous bra Howard Hughes had made for her to wear during the filming of The Outlaw and instead yanking her bra straps up for a little elevation. She knew what needed to be done, but she was going to do it her way.

with Marilyn Monroe

She was also not a classic 1950s movie star. At 5'7" she was taller than most of her contemporaries and never compromising on being a beautiful brunette (with occasional forays into red). As Dorthory Shaw she is the reason that Gentlemen Prefer Blondes is one of my favourite films - the outfits, the sass, the make-up. I love Marilyn too of course, but I feel I'm more Dorothy than Lorelei - and she's an unusually feisty lady to see in films of that time.

The fabulous thing about Jane Russell's beautiful brunette colouring is she could carry off a strong red lip, minimal eye make-up and her defined brows held the whole look together and was a style she carried through to old age. Her whole look is the classic pin-up, which is what she was for many US soldiers during the Second World War

Jane Russell Make-up Must Haves

Brows - Always defined, I suspect her of having pretty good, strong brows naturally but for those of you who need to cheat it then Anastasia Beverly Hills Dip Brow is fantastic as are the Brow Whizz pencils.

©Luke Ford

Eyes - usually a nude shadow with a black liner flick. She actually had quite hooded lids so a classic feline liner is perfect for her eye shape - if you like to use a gel then I love Inglot AMC Eyeliner Gel.  To create a cats eye effect then corner lashes will elongate any eye - I love the Betty False Strip Lashes from The Vintage Cosmetics Company. The Tanya Burr Everyday Flutter lashes and the Ardell Accent Lashes (301) would also work.

Skin - not too heavy, with a natural finish but pretty perfect. I think Dior Star Fluid Foundation would be great for this. She has some light, cream contouring so either use a foundation in a slightly darker shade than your usual or try out the House of Glam Dolls Glam Base Wheel. Slight blush on the cheeks - I'd go for MAC powder blush in Harmony or Gingerly, but again, you need to suit your skin tone.

Lips - Jane Russell was able to carry off blue and orange reds but you'll know best what suits you. For more orange shades then NARS Satin Lip pencil in Timanfaya or Topshop's Lipstick in Headrush. For bluer reds, her more usual shade, then Estee Lauder Pure Colour Envy in Envious or Chanel Rouge Allure in Pirate is a classic. My favourite liners that work with most reds are MAC lip liner in Redd and Half-Red.

Monday's Make-up Muse - Kate Moss

Who more appropriate to choose straight after London Fashion Week than arguably fashions most famous female model of all time. I'm not an out and out Kate Moss obsessive but every now and then she'll do something and it does make me stop and think 'Wow' - the Olympic Opening Ceremony was one of these times. I remember being told that Kate Moss is one of the few people that has a symmetrical face (Cate Blanchett does as well) and that's partly what makes her so attractive.

from The Daily Express

Yes doing what she does means she has access to the knowledge of the worlds greatest make-up artists and it's hard to really call her a make-up muse as it's these artists that create her looks and it's not surprising that she looks great 99% of the time but what I love is that when you see her out and about not modelling she usually has the same luminous skin, tanned cheek bones but slightly grungy look which is my favourite kind of make-up and one I think of as classically British. She can pull off the I-slept-in-my-make-up look to perfection whilst not actually looking like she's wearing a ton of it and team it with a red-lip without looking overdone.

Yes she can carry off every look and we're not all blessed with her face and bone structure but when often when I see her I am reminded that it's great not look completely made-up and perfect at all times. You can go along way with healthy looking skin, smudgy kohl liner and accentuated cheekbones. Here's how...

Eye Shadows - if you are blessed with a good colour, no greasy lid then you may be able to skip this step altogether and just go straight to the liner. If not then using either a cream or shadow one tone darker than your skin tone will give a defined natural look. MAC paint pots are great for this as are Laura Mercier Eye Basics eye primers - you want something with little or no shimmer.

Eye Liners - a great smudgy kohl that I always have at least two of in my kit and in my personal collection is Smoulder by MAC. I basically just think everyone should own this so I'm leaving it at that!

Skin - you want your skin to look healthy (yes I know that Kate is a notorious smoker amongst other things but her skin always looks pretty good) so well moisturised with a light luminous foundation over the top. Obviously this is completely skin dependent, if you need more coverage then you should go for it but keep it as light as you can. I think Chanel Vita Lumier Aqua or the Estee Lauder EE Cream (if you can get it in your shade!) are good for this as is MAC Face and Body. For a more high street price then a good BB cream would be good here - I'm struggling to think of one that would give this kind of finish though I've heard some great things about he Dr Jart ones.

Blush/Bronzer - Kate usually has more of bronzed cheek than a blush. Charlotte Tilbury's Filmstar Bronze and Glow is perfect if you want high-end. For high street Collections Shimmer Shade in Way to Glow is just enough shimmer and bronze.

Lips - occasionally red, quite often a perfect nude and in fact Charlotte Tilbury has created a Lipstick based on the perfect Kate beige, K.I.S.S.I.N.G in Nude Kate and can be matched with her Lip Cheat in Iconic Nude. This colour is perfect for more grungy make-up giving peachy definition without needing hours spent in front of a mirror.

from Hello Magazine

Monday's Make-up Muse - Grace Kelly

This is a bit cheaty because it's not just her make-up that makes Grace Kelly such a muse not only for make-up artists but actresses, stylists, writers and designers - she is the whole package. Elegant, stylish, chic and classically beautiful. That being said I think she often gets over-looked in favour of others, such as Marilyn Monroe (who I will feature as a Monday's Make-up Muse) and Audrey Hepburn (who won't). But if you break down the different parts of her face (always a cruel thing to do I know) there is nothing that 'wow' about her, though she does have fantastic bone structure, but put it all together and the outcome is striking and elegant. She is also consistently described by those who knew and worked with her as 'the nicest lady' they'd ever met and I think this 'niceness' shines through. Beauty is not only skin deep and here that really shows - she has incredible poise.
 

picture from Blue Velvet Vintage

She always manages to look well put together and chic, very rarely do you see a picture of her wearing something terrible (there's one of her and Princess Diana at the Opera... not a great dress there). Even her jewelry is well-chosen and 'just-right'. Her hair is always perfectly coiffed, usually in a side parting with beautifully done curls, and her make-up is nearly always the same, muted red lip, discrete liner and a little blush on porcelain skin. Sadly for those of us wanting to look like her she is famous for being a 'natural' beauty - wearing, and needing, little make-up but for those of us who aren't so lucky there are some tips below...

Eye shadows - usually very pale but sometimes blue-enhancing taupe's or browns a cream format would give the subtle look associated with Grace Kelly. Kiko Long Lasting Eye Shadow stick in 07 Golden Beige would be a great one to use and the slight gold tint would suit blue eyes. MAC's Paint Pot in Painterly (a bare nude) or Bare Study (soft beige with gold pearl) are also great choices. A light wash of Charlotte Tilbury's Colour Chameleon in Champagne Diamonds would be great for blue eyes.

Eye Liners - A gel liner would be best for this if you can - my favourite is Inglot's AMC Gel Liner in 77 Black with a MAC 266 angled brush. If you find it easier to use a pen liner then Collection 24hr Felt Tip liner is great and long lasting or Eyeko Skinny Liquid Liner is another lovely option.

Skin - getting skin like Grace Kelly is slightly harder to achieve. She never looks like she has that full-on coverage but then I don't think she necessarily needed it. If you don't then MAC's Face and Body gives a beautiful sheer finish (but is very buildable if you need a bit more) as does the Estee Lauder EE Cream, though it comes in a limited colour range. If you need more coverage nothing makes me feel more film star than Dior's Star Fluid Foundation as long as you skin is nicely moisturised and you blend it in well.

Blush - you want a barely there healthy look so a cream is ideal here. You'll need to find something to match your skin but Kiko's Velvet Touch Creamy Blush Sticks are gorgeous and will have a lovely subtle range of colours. Or you can use this as an excuse to invest in the famous The Multiple from NARS.

Lips - again this depends a lot on your skin tone. It would be very easy to Grace Kelly to go for the more trashy reds but she tones it down a little and looks classic. YSL's Rouge Volupte Rouge in Danger and MAC's Ladybug are good choices. For a more high street price Rimmel lipsticks are fantastic and Alarm will work for most skin tones. For a sheer coverage I love Burts Bees Tinted Lip Balm, Rose is a good Grace Kelly colour to go for.

My favourite outfit from my favourite Grace Kelly film Rear Window

Monday's Make-up Muse - Gwen Stefani

Ok so a new feature I've been thinking of for a while. How many times do you see a picture of someone or watch TV and think 'next time I do my make-up I'm going to try and do that'? Well I do it all the time and for so many different kinds of women purely depending on my mood. So I thought I'd have a look at each of my 'make-up muses' and pick out the bits of their look, style and make-up that I love. Now this may seem done to death but this is my blog and these are my make-up muses so some of them may be unexpected and Audrey Hepburn will not feature. It will be the first Monday of the month and you can search for them by clicking 'Muse' in the tag cloud in the right sidebar.

Thought I'd start this off with Gwen Stefani because, apart from the classic icons she has been one of my make-up muses since school and is still doing it! Whenever I see a picture of her even if I don't particularly love the outfit it is guaranteed that there will be a fab item of jewelry or a new lip colour that I covet. She is a modern version of the classic 50s icon - the blonde hair, the red lips and nails, even her eyebrows but she is so up-to-date it hurts.

I suppose with Gwen we should start at the top with the hair. When I fist went blonde a billion years ago it was party because I wanted to look like all the fantastically cool 80s metal bands that I loved (yes they were men, what?) and then along came No Doubt and Tragic Kingdom and she looked so cool and I wanted her hair. How the hell does she maintain it? How? I need her hairdressers number. I'm having to have a break from dying mine because it was so damaged and she never even has a root visible. There's a secret I know there is... I need to find it out.
 
Her make-up (what I think of as being classic Gwen Stefani though she actually changes it up quite a lot) usually involves a flick of varying degrees of drama, a red lip, and flawless skin with not a whole lot of blusher and bronzer going on... just enough. She always hits the right note of made-up but not overdone, again a real classic look that's hard to do. What makes the eyes work is the use of pale shadows and slight contour to make the shape perfect and the ideal backing for the black liner and lashes. Even when she goes for more dramatic eye make-up and a nuder look she still seems to ooze classic style.

What I always feel when looking at Gwen Stefani is that if there were no stylists and make-up artists in the world she would probably look pretty similar to what we see. If you remove the bindi in the Don't Speak video you'll see she's already got her signature make-up look going on. Love, love, love her.

Gwen Stefani Make-up Must Haves:

Eye Shadows - neutral tones and slightly darker matte shades for contouring are the best backing for a classic looking flick liner. For neutrals try Brulee or Blanc by MAC and for the darker shades Wedge and Omega are great. Or you can get a palette with similar colours in - Sleek Make-up I-Divine Palettes in Au Naturel or Oh So Special are my picks. My top pick is the Essential Eye Palette by Louise Young.

Eye Liner - choose a gel liner like my favourite 77 from Inglot or Blacktrack from MAC with either an angled brush (266 from MAC is my preference) or a Real Techniques Fine Liner brush or a pen liner if you find that easier. I prefer the ones from Eyeko or Collection. 

Lips - the most important thing is to get a red that suits your skin tone. My favourite red pencil is Redd from MAC but in terms of an actual lipstick there are so many out there to choose from. MAC Ruby Woo is a bestselling favourite but my go-to MAC colour is All Fired Up which is more flattering, as is Lady Danger. YSL, Chanel (Pirate for my preference) and Charlotte Tilbury (I love Lost Cherry) are also worth checking out. For more affordable brands Barry M's Lip Paint in 121 would work and my most recommended red lipstick is the mighty Revlon Fire & Ice.

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Everyday Lana del Ray Inspired - Friday Video

I really loved this look in Vogue (March 2012) - it's not dissimilar to how I often do my makeup anyway but with a bit of a pinky twist. I've left the lashes off to make this more everyday wearable but this look would look great with Eyelure intense lashes or any corner lashes you can find. So this isn't a tutorial on how to do the makeup exactly... this is just the picture that inspired it...

Products used:

Oilatum Natural Repair Face Cream
Chanel Vitalumier Aqua foundation (in 10 beige)
Sleek Makeup Eye Palette in Oh So Special
Marks and Spencer Limited Collection Bronzing powder (in Light)
Prestige Cosmetics liquid liner (in black)
DiorShow Extase Mascara (in black)
Bobbi Brown Corrector (in Light Bisque)
Collection 2000 Lasting Perfection Concealer (in 03 Medium)
MAC Eye Kohl in Teddy
MAC blush in Pink Swoon
Cover FX translucent setting powder
No 7 Lip Pencil (in Nude)
MAC tinted lip conditioner in Petting Pink

Nail Varnish is Pillar Box Red by Butter London

Why?

I'm sorry to be writing this as I've tried to ignore all the goings on but how the hell has Jordan/Katie Price been nominated for Mother of the Year. Admittedly compared to Kerry Katona, a previous winner, she is a wonderful parent but slagging your ex-husband off in every media channel available, discussing your sex life with ex and new boyfriend publicly and often, moving a new boyfriend into your home with your children weeks after splitting from said husband and encouraging those children to call this new man 'dad' is absolutely appalling and I find it sickening that her behaviour is being condoned in anyway. There I'm done I will now go back to being completely bored of their goings on and wishing their sections in the papers were taken up by people with any talent whatsoever.

VMA's

I used to watch all awards show. Slightly lame you may think but if that's the case you're probably not as nosey as I am. I'm very nosy. Mr J is not. I can't remember the last time I sat and stuffed my face whilst making shocked noises at who was wearing what and snorting derisively at acceptance speeches. Mr J went and watched football on Sunday afternoon - by the time he returned home I was fully ensconced in the warm up to the Video Music Awards. There was no escape for him, he had to make me supper and shut up.

I have to say I thought Russell Brand was a bizarre and poor choice. I'm British and I didn't find him funny so was not surprised by the lack of laughter from the audience (but of course the Britishness in me did find the stony silence incredibly embarrassing from my sofa). His suit was also dreadful - how he manages to get laid in such unattractive trousers is beyond me!

I don't really want to dwell on the whole Kanye/Taylor thing although I will say that I do agree with Obama the man is a jackass. I felt his comments about the Beyonce video were partly due to who she is and who she's married to but what pissed me off most was that he later 'apologised' saying he was still sad about his mum. I'm pretty sure she'd be pretty sad to be used as an excuse for terrible and completely avoidable public bad behaviour. Obviously Beyonce rectified it on the night by behaving like a complete lady.

The outfits didn't really set my world on fire. I thought Pink looked great in her Balmain dress and dealt well with the fact that Shakira was wearing the same one and arrived five minutes after her. I do hate Pinks trapeze outfit thought - the star over one exposed boob is not a good look for anyone no matter in how good shape you are. I liked Beyonce's red dresses even if one did seem to have a sort of built in bum bag arrangement at the front - I guess she needed somewhere to keep her lipstick - but I found the leotard she performed in pretty unattractive. She does have a fantastic body and I do hate leotards on everyone but I felt the same as I do every time Madonna dons one - 'I just don't want to see that much of your thrusting barely covered crotch'.

I thought Alicia Keys looked good when she performed (I didn't see her non-performance outfit very well) but again leggings can be unflattering and they didn't do her justice. In fact I can remember being quite surprised at how un-great she looked but I think I'm probably just so happy that she got rid of those dreadful side plait/cornrow things that I'll forgive her many a fashion faux pas.

Of course you can't comment on outfits without a little mention to Lady GaGa who managed three costume changes (not including her performance outfit) and looked horrifically uncomfortable in all of them. The first involved a partial mask and full neck brace necklace. The mask I can kind of get my head around even if it made me imagine her living in the roof of Radio City but she looked so uncomfortable not being able to move her neck and I don't think that's a good look. As for the red lacy number over her face - even she got sick of that one when she pulled it off to give her acceptance speech. Third time lucky? Third time better I'd say even though she looked like she'd been called to attend the VMA's in the middle of an ornithological accident and had a birds nest stuck to her face. As a result of all these face cover costume changes her hair looked so unhappy - if hair could cry it would have done. I was shocked to find she is three years younger than me... she looked older on the night and I now think it must have been the hair.

When it comes to the performances I thought they were all pretty good. Jay-Z and Alicia Keys did 'Empire State of Mind' which was fantastic, really atmospheric... almost made me a little weepy and I've never even been to New York. They both sounded great (Jay-Z maybe a little gravelly) and I'd forgotten how talented Alicia Keys actually is. I'm so used to processed music now that I always get a surprise when a girl has a real good pair of lungs! The Michael Jackson tribute was fantastic - was really impressed with the dancers. It's one thing doing all of his most difficult dances but doing them with a massive screen showing him doing them at the same time, talk about pressure. Thought it was slightly weird that they put someone at the front who couldn't do the famous Smooth Criminal lean but maybe it was stage fright. Thought Janet danced well and was really brave - out of all the dancers though she was the only one slightly out of time she does have that Jackson flair though so I think that makes up for it.

Beyonce of course was duty bound to do the 'Single Ladies' dance but didn't actually sing much of the song. Ok I thought, it's a vigorous dance no one wants to hear her singing in a wobbly exercise voice so I forgave her... until I saw Pink perform 'Sober'. 'She's miming' said the ever cynical Mr J. She was not. By far the best performance of the night (I think it was during this performance that she made have separated her shoulder) the trapezing was fantastic and she sang well enough to sound like a recording only her own personal additions made it clear that she was singing live. The woman was being tossed around in the air upside down and was note perfect. Frankly made Beyonce look a little lame for not singing more.

So that's it. That'll probably be the last awards show I'll be allowed to watch for years xx

Heroin Diaries

I thought that The Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star would not appeal to me as I'm not a fan of heroin. That sounds odd but there is nothing more boring than people (usually boys) telling you proudly how many drugs they've taken in what quantity... blah blah blah. But I was pleasantly surprise. Nikki Sixx is my least favourite member of Motley Crue (bet you didn't know you had to have a favourite member!) but I could not put this book down. It has made me want to go on a bender dressed in leather trousers (I'm just about suppressing this urge)... I would say that a love of rock music is quite a necessity for this book. otherwise you'll be bored by the various Whitesnake, Ratt and New York Dolls references. Go get it, it's great (as is The Dirt - Motley Crue: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band) xx

Seeing the Wood for Floozies

What the hell is Ronnie Wood doing? In fact, no that's unfair, what the hell does Ekaterina Ivanova think she's doing. Meddling with an institution that's what. Ronnie is back in rehab having once again fallen off the wagon - no surprises there - and shacked up with a Russian 19 year old. All over the papers Katia's mother is cashing in claiming that nothing sexual is going on, now she's saying definitely something sexual was going on. Then that it's got nothing to do with his money whilst in the same sentence complaining that her 19 year old daughter is only getting £300 a day for modeling for his paintings. She is also saying how degrading it is for her daughter to have to pose nude and how Ronnie is taking advantage of her. One question for you - what the hell is your 19 year old daughter doing in an escort club (where she met Ronnie) if she is so damn innocent?

This whole sordid affair is ruining one of the most respected marriages in rock history. Jo and Ronnie have been together for 23 years - she's stuck by him through countless bouts of drinking and rehab and the occasional indiscretion of the trouser department, yet he is still stupid enough to lose his head over a 19 year old gold digger. Will men ever learn? Being with you for 23 years breeds a loyalty that no floozy will have. When the going gets tough the twinky gets going and then you'll have to slink back on your knees and hope that the woman who knows you for what you are can forgive you. To top it all off I think Jo still knocks spots of the Russian - Katia doesn't even come close.

Speaking of twinkies. Who remembers Sienna Miller saying that Daisy, the errant nanny who was all too tempting for Jude can't-keep-it-in-his-pants Law, had better watch out and hope that she didn't bump into Sienna in a dark alley. Its wonderful to know that Sienna has learnt from that experience. She has such empathy that she has no qualms about running about with Balthazar Getty who's wife has fled with their 8 month old daughter after pictures of Sienna smooching her husband have been plastered all over the press for weeks. Does she not realise that she is even worse than the nanny - Getty is not only married but a new father and all Sienna's weak bleating that they are just friends means nothing when coupled with pictures of her draping her semi-nude form all over him at every available opportunity. I know she took the Jude thing hard but she clearly learnt nothing from the experience at all. xx

Daddy Dearest

Just after Father's Day it is lovely to hear that Jamie Spears is spending a lot of time with his troubled eldest child. He's 'conversing' a lot with his Britney in the evenings as well as doing the (some) shopping and cooking (supper) for her (sometimes). He's really doing his fatherly duty... or so it would seem until you realise that he is insisting on being paid £1,250 per week to do it, and from her estate!

How sweet - a father being paid to spend time with and look after his troubled child. It warms your heart doesn't it xx

Baby Boom

It seems that the place to be is the maternity ward in pretty much any hospital but particularly Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles where Nicole Richie gave birth to daughter, Harlow Winter Kate Madden on Friday morning and Christina Aguilera gave birth to her son Max Liron Bratmen at 10.05pm on Saturday. Other new parents include Stella McCartney and Alasdhair Willis who had a son Beckett Robert Lee on 8th January.
But just in case you were getting complacent and thought that maybe the celebrity world was going to get a grip in 2008, Britney Spears and Amy Winehouse have been evening out the normal/abnormal, happy/sad balance with various unbelievable antics. First to Britney who was removed from her home by paramedics after locking herself in a bathroom with one of her sons. Her assistant and friend Ali broke the door down eventually and we were treated to the worrying sight of Brit being tied to stretchers with restraints and alternately crying, laughing and screaming at the paramedics. She was apparently high on various substances but having a close look at her (trust the Sun to be completely close up and in her face during a breakdown) her pupils seemed pretty normal leading me to speculate that she has actually just flipped a switch somewhere and had some sort of mental meltdown. On the bright side it prompted Simon Cowell to offer not only words of wisdom but seemingly a shoulder for her to cry on... the mind boggles.
Now, am I the only one who HATES Amy Winehouse's new hair? She would clearly never really suit being blond at the best of times but when its a nasty yellow-tinged bad peroxide job I think we'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who could carry it off. It also seems to somehow accentuate her still terrifying stick-thinness which doesn't seem to be getting any better. Meanwhile, in prison, her 'husband' Blake Fielder-Civil is reportedly fuming at her spending the night with producer Mark Ronson in the K-West hotel. I may be naive here but I'm pretty sure he's got nothing to worry about - the photo's of them taken on the night show him wearing a sharp suit and looking fit and healthy next to Amy with skeletal figure, terrible new yellow hair and an ill advised pair of 'City' shorts... Surely that can't be an irresistible look. I never thought I'd say this but 'bring back the Beehive'... even that dreadful thing is better than this!
Now after my previous rant about the shooting of Tatiana the San Francisco zoo tiger I lay awake at 4.00 this morning having had a horrible nightmare involving me having to watch my parents being chased down and attacked by tigers... I'll take this as karmic payback for my animal rights rant. xx

Sniffle Sniffle

I managed not to disgrace myself at the Christmas party which was so fun, Miss K has flown off to Canada, and I have suddenly succumbed to the horrible cold that's been going round. I had to slink home from work early today to lie in a dark room. I'm hoping that the Lemsip will knock it on the head.

It has not been a good week for Amy Winehouse who is to be questioned by the police in relation to her husband's arrest for GBH and perverting the course of justice. So Amy being Amy goes to the pub at 6am for cocktails and makes a suicide pact with her prison bound husband. Fellow press meltdown nightmare Britney Spears has been barred from her favourite hideout the Beverly Hills Four Seasons. It does not look like either of them will be changing their ways any time soon.

On a brighter note, for those of you who are fans of Cashmere look no further than Eric Bompard's stunning collection which is must for anyone who loves french style. For anyone wanting a cashmere present for Christmas visit the website here and there's 20% off scarves, stoles and hats until 24th December so definitely worth checking out. There are so many colours available that you should be able to find the perfect present - from Eucalyptus Green classic hats and Intense Blue scarves to Mixed Cork Brown jumpers and Charcoal Grey for those who like something a bit more sedate. The website is incredibly easy to use so get clicking. xx

Congratulations

I would like to congratulate Mrs Y on the long awaited arrival of her baby. She had a beautiful boy born at home on Sunday afternoon.

Right back to the more usual business of the day. Cheryl Cole has been badmouthing nearly everyone in the music business. I have to say that I think both Amy Winehouse and Charlotte Church, her two most recent targets, can both out sing any of girls aloud. Amy may have her drunken moments (OK more than a few) but she is truly original compared to a lot of what's out there at the moment. Mrs Fielder-Civil has other things to worry about this week her (loser) husband has been arrested for trying to bribe the victim in his ongoing assault case. Amy has been described as 'distraught' and this just seems to be just one more thing that is detracting from her talent.

And just when you were thinking that Britney might have actually kept out of the papers for once she has been snapped running a red light whilst looking at her phone with her kids in the back. Presumably the child welfare person was in the passenger seat so god knows what she must have been thinking. However, having watched a programme on Thursday (annoyingly the name escapes me) I do feel incredibly sorry for her. She is constantly surrounded by photographers. All the time. And the paps excuse? She knows their names and knows who they are so that makes it OK. I have no doubt that they help her career and she acts up for them but that in no way means she should have her every single move followed. No wonder she is [allegedly] going loopy.

OK and now to nicer things. For those of you who want to be creative with your presents this year or for those who, like me, use Christmas as an excuse to eat as much as possible Mumma B's Pepparkakor are a great present... or a great treat for you! They are a Swedish Christmas biscuit which are yummy plain or decorated. This recipe makes hundreds but you can freeze the dough so you can make them as you need them.

• 250g butter
• 300g sugar
• 1tbsp syrup
• 1 dessert spoon ground ginger
• 1 desert spoon ground gloves
• 1 tbsp cinnamon
• 3 cardamon seeds ground
• 1 egg
• 500g plain flour
• 1tbsp bicarbonate of soda

Melt the butter into a saucepan. Add the sugar, syrup and spices. Let it cool - it can be luke-warm but you don't want it to cook the eggs. Then add the eggs, flour and bicarbonate of soda. Let the dough firm in the fridge, roll onto a floured surface and cut into thin shapes (I love using star cutters). Bake in an oven at 200 degrees Celsius for about ten minutes and then leave to cool.

If you want to decorate them then you can mix up some icing and use silver sugar balls as decoration. Red, green and white are great festive icing colours. For all those ginger biscuit fans out there, these are going to the next level. xx

Your Next Bold Move

Last night was finally the night when I dragged a rather willing Mr J off to see Ani Difranco at the Shepherds Bush Empire. I had a filthy cold and was feeling a bit subdued. I had also forgotten how massive the queues are outside the venue. It was all totally worth it. Mr J firmly believing in the healing powers of whisky made me have two for medicinal purposes so by the time Ani's support act Hamel on Trial came on I was feeling revived! I have to say I nearly forget just how good she was live and last night was as good as ever. What I did find strange was that nobody in the standing area was dancing (we were on Level 2 which I was initially annoyed about but it meant that a) i didn't have to stand which I really didn't feel up to for four hours, and b) we didn't have the eternal problem of me not being able to see anything). But I could barely sit in my seat - and I thought it must be a bit weird to be playing to a nearly still room. If you haven't already I really would recommend checking her out (Righteous Babe).

Britney just keeps going with the bizarre behaviour. This time she has got her lips plumped and crashed her car again. I just cannot imagine the decision making process that goes on in her head! She has got some visitation rights back though so fingers crossed she can do that right. Same goes for Amy Winehouse who has been arrested in Norway for drug possession. Refreshingly Lindsey Lohan seems to be doing well out of rehab although I don't want to speak to soon... It's the season finale of Grey's Anatomy on Thursday night so no guesses as to where I'll be on Thursday night. Ugly Betty series 2 has started though so there is some consolation.

This week I've been testing out [A'Kin] Rosehip and Shea Intensive Anti-oxidant complex. It smells great but the consistency is a bit strange after application. It is a great cream but I'm not sure it is up to the stiff competition out there. I'm going to give it a bit longer and see how it goes.

I got my roots hightlighted this weekend at Tony & Guy Essensuals. My colourist does a fantastic job but I think next time I'm going to make an attempt to return to my natural hair colour. I keep seeing brunettes and hearing my mother say that she thinks most people look best with their natural hair colour (although she has been telling me to stick to blonde). But I think next time it's got to be done.

I've been in bed all day struggling with this cold. I wish I'd got my act together and had got my hands on Camilla Morton's latest, A Girl for All Seasons. It looks fantastic and perfect for a bedridden Miss B (see Treat of the Week). xx

Necessities

I have to get my disgust for today's News of the World off my chest before I can write this post. Today they had photo's of Kate Middleton stalking with Prince Charles saying that in today's gun culture they thought it was irresponsible. I was so cross because it's a perfect example of gun's being used responsibly in a tradition that has been going on for hundreds of years. Whether you agree with stalking or not there are people there who have been properly trained and who are using them in a safe environment. I think that we have a growing problem with gun crime but that doesn't mean anyone who handles a gun is going to use it dangerously. I hate that people waste time on tiny incidents when the serious ones keep getting worse.

Right - now that's over I think I tracked down four great nail varnishes on Friday (having convinced myself that they were necessities). The first was actually a Miss F find. It's Revlon Nail Enamel for £4.99 in One Perfect Coral. It looks slightly different depending on your skin tones - it looks more orange on Miss F and more red on me but what I love about it is that its a calmer alternative to a more post-box red. I can't stop looking at my hands!! The next is L'Oreal's Resist and Shine in 505. I can't track the actual colour down for some reason but this is a light red which is really girlie and pretty - I think it's the perfect red for toe nails. 17's Knockout Red is a cheaper, slightly darker version of the L'Oreal and 17 also do a great 3 in 1 clear nail varnish which moisturises and conditions and makes the perfect base and top coat. Both were just £2.59. I've been feeling like a real glamour puss since my nail fest at the weekend (Mr J had his eyes opened to a whole new world of the nail varnishing process). I will say that the Revlon did only manage to stay on for three-ish days but this is no criticism really. I have yet to find a nail varnish that can last longer than that and I've been trying for ten years!!

Right - the jury is in on the James Brown and Kate Moss new haircare range. First a bit from their press release...

"James Brown defines British hairdressing. One of the world's most sought after and influential session stylists: he has more British Vogue cover credits to his name than any other hairdresser. His signature brand of effortlessly cool hairstyling from grunge to high-octane glamour has influenced a generation "

"When formulating the range James called on his best friend and muse Kate Moss for her advice on fragrance direction and packaging aesthetics. This new partnership between James and Kate is a continuation of their long-term relationship which has seen them as best friends, flatmates, trusted confidantes and, on camera, as fashion catalysts. Kate's involvement also sees her as the face of the James Brown London brand, ensuring this exciting new launch is as much about James' and Kate's personalities, professional experience and personal favourites as it is about natural and efficacious ingredients. "

Now Miss F and I are pretty much the perfect testers for hair products. Her hair is naturally blonde and thick with curls at the end. Mine is fine, but there's lots of it and peroxided to within an inch of it's life. We both wash ours every other day but Miss F's can definitely go a bit further without washing than mine which, being fine tends to stick to my head and lose all volume. We were trying the dry hair shampoo and conditioner and the styling balm. Due to the peroxide my hair can be dry and frizzy. Miss F's has a tendency to frizz and although it's not dry - she wants it to shine.

I found that my hair felt really silky after using the James Brown products (the conditioner is pretty tough stuff so should just be applied to the ends of your hair) but the day after it lacked volume. Miss F loves it - she says it makes her hair feel shiny and her curls are proper curls rather than frizz. I think that a first wash with the James Brown and the second wash with the Thicker Fuller Hair Shampoo would do the trick for my hair (that's if I can get to the James Brown before Miss F). The Styling Balm is great is smells really nice and even though it feels quite hard (literally) to apply this actually ensures that you don't overdo it (which is the most upsetting thing). This range is definitely worth trying.

Got some more lovely treats in the post today so am off to check them out xx

Miss F Returns

Miss F has returned from her sojourn in Australia so finally we are a full house again and Grey's Anatomy normality can be restored). This week we will mostly be washing our hair - the new James Brown products have arrived and I have to say... I'm impressed. They smell gorgeous and I had a sneaky try on the balm in the car and it seemed pretty good. I used the shampoo and conditioner for the first time today and my hair does feel softer but definitely less volumised. But obviously will take a few washes to settle down so will keep going. Am impressed so far.

I've been feeling so lethargic this week (I'm blaming Miss F for my sympathy jet-lag) but haven't been too lazy to notice how great Nicole Richie is looking now she is pregnant. She looks really healthy and happy so I'm hoping that motherhood will sort out the weight problems once and for all. We'll have to wait and see. Another person who is continually in the papers (apart from Ms Spears and her lack of underwear) is Amy Winehouse who was apparently so upset when her husband failed to appear at the MOBO's that she is talking divorce. I'm not holding my breath though - it certainly seems too good to be true. Right - off for the first wash with the James Brown... xx

Shopping Spree

I sat down to write this two hours ago but I have been finally going through all my emails and I had loads of really nice ones from people who read this but also I’ve been told about a couple of new products out there which I’m determined to sample. The first package of goodies is currently sitting in the post office waiting for me to retrieve it tomorrow morning. It’s James Brown’s new haircare range. He’s one of the most sought after British stylists and who has he chosen to collaborate with? His best bud, ex-flatmate and muse, Kate Moss. I can't wait to try them out! I’ve also been told about a new mineral cosmetics brand from Australia - Inika. Not only are their products made from minerals with no parabens, talc or fragrance but they’re also 100% Vegan. Want to give those a go too.

It's been a good week for me with my goodies but a bad week for... you guessed it - Miss Britney Spears. She's now only allowed to see her kids in the presence of a social worker. I've completely lost faith in her turning her life around. I still really hope she does but she just doesn't even seem to be trying... in any way... at all!! When I got back from holiday friends of Amy Winehouse said she was coming round to their way of thinking but this actually seems to be untrue. She's missing the first couple of dates on her November tour to be by his side in court.

But back to normality… for Mumma B’s birthday (which falls in the middle of our family holiday so is always tricky to for packing) I gave her some L’Occitane Elixir from Immortelle. It’s supposed to show results in one month so I’m going to go and prod at her face this weekend.

I’m loving the You’re Bluffing by Benefit. It really works. This really was a decadent buy because I don’t suffer too badly from patchy skin. I do always get redness around my nose and this works like a dream. It also comes in (typically) great packaging too. Some Kind-a Gorgeous is fabulous. I am less keen on the packaging with this one. It’s pretty clunky and plasticy – but luckily what’s inside is worth the £19.50 you pay. These were my welcome home from holiday treats. But then I get an email telling me about their new product Cupids Bow. Not only is it a lip liner with two shades but there’s also a brush and sponge all in one. I must resist I must resist… well I’ll try really hard to resist.

My final hurrah on the spending front was a trip to Topshop last Thursday night. I finally succumbed and bought a pair of skinny jeans. They do not look good but I'm determined to tone the thighs. They have become my aim. I also bought a jumper from the new Kate Moss range (Kate Moss again!). Which is really gorgeous. Worth a look in - if you can face it.

I’m getting excited about seeing Ani Difranco in a couple of weeks time at Shepherd’s Bush Empire. I am taking Mr J though so am slightly concerned about how he’ll handle it. Not content with spending my salary on products I bought some mugs from the Righteous Babe website. The best thing for a cup of tea. I’m going to use it for my lunch time soup. I’m desperately trying to shed a few pounds but have no will power whatsoever so keep cheating. I’m trying to do exercises in the morning, and not eat carbs after 5 but then naughty Miss K tempted me into getting a bagel from breakfast. The aforementioned lack of will power ever present I had Pastrami, cream cheese and pickles. Full fat cream cheese obviously. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.

Miss F is still in Australia. It’s very strange without her – watching Grey’s Anatomy is just not the same surrounded by boys with no ally. She’ll home soon though and then I get to watch them all over again thanks to the wonder of the Sky+ box. Speaking of which it’s 10.30 on Thursday – time for some McDreamy. It's sooooo good xx